This article was originally published in 2024 and most recently updated on July 6, 2026, with current information.
The French get a bad rap for being cold, but after a combined 14 years living in Paris and the South of France, we can confidently say French people are not rude to tourists, they’re simply . . . French. Generally speaking, most people in France can seem a bit aloof to Americans. Some of this is urban vs. rural; just as in New York City where people tend to be stressed and pressed for time, people in Paris are busy; they’re not rude, they’re just trying to get through their long commute. When you come at people in France with your big American energy, they may stiffen up.
All cultures have a certain way of doing things, and if you follow these rules of French etiquette, you’ll fit in better during your next trip. Abide by them in Paris or anywhere in France and tout va bien. All will be fine.
Always say “Bonjour”
It seems simple enough: Say hello. But ask yourself the last time you greeted a stranger when entertaining an elevator. That’s what we thought. In France, you really do need to say bonjour to everyone. The shopkeeper at the boutique? Bonjour. The barista at the counter taking your coffee order? Bonjour. The neighbor you passed in the stairwell? Bonsoir. (Because it’s nighttime —don’t forget to switch when the sun sets, but don’t worry if you forget. The French do, too.) Honestly, just say “bonjour/bonsoir” into the air whenever you find yourself no longer alone. Maybe it’s silly, but maybe it’s also . . . nice? Oh, and while you’re at it, merci and s’il vous plait (thank you and please) go a long way, too.
Every interaction should go: bonjour — ask for what you want, complete your transaction, etc. — merci (thank you), and bonne journée (have a nice day) or bonne soirée (have a nice evening).
Ask before you touch
You may be tempted to see how ripe a peach is or select a few tomatoes at a farmers’ market, but first, check what other people are doing. Some vendors prefer to select individual pieces of produce for you while others don’t mind either way. If there are bags for the taking, you can serve yourself (as the supermarket, you’ll always serve yourself). For more delicate fruits like cherries, there will often be a sign saying some variation of, Merci de ne pas toucher, laissez-nous vous servir (please don’t touch, let us serve you). The same goes in most cheese shops: Don’t grab a piece of cheese yourself; ask the person at the counter.
The same “asking for permission” goes for taking photos—of fruit stands, people at markets, and inside small stores. You can mime whether it’s OK to take a photo and the person will respond yes or no. Museums generally have signs saying whether or not you can take photos.
Be thoughtful about speaking English
No one expects you to speak fluent French, but don’t immediately start off in English. If someone came up to you in the U.S. and started speaking rapid French, you would be confused, right? Always start with bonjour, followed by parlez-vous anglais? (do you speak English), or pardonnez-moi, je ne parle pas français (pardon me, I don’t speak French). Many French people do speak English, especially in Paris, but it’s polite to assume not everyone does.
Lower your voice
Americans are absolutely not the only travelers to speak loudly. However, when French people talk about what annoys them about tourists from the U.S., it’s often the high speaking volume. Lower your voice, whether you’re tucking into a plate of beef tartare or going for a bracing dip in Brittany.
It’s polite in France to keep your speaking volume low, especially indoors.
Photos by Roberta Valerio
Avoid talking about work
Asking someone what they do for a living is standard small talk in the United States, but in France, your job is not your personality. People may ask, “What do you do in life?” But they mean for fun, as in what brings you joy? Even when taking an order at a restaurant, the server will ask, “Ce qui vous fait plaisir? " (“What pleases you?”) This is true work-to-live land, so think beyond the cubicle, commute, and keyboard.
Make eye contact when you cheers
Before taking a sip of your wine, clink glasses with your dining companions, and be prepared to stare deep into their souls while doing so. It’s considered rude to “cheers” (santé in French) without looking the other person in the eye. Clink glasses with everyone at the table, and don’t cross your glass with someone else’s. Remember: Life is pleasure. Pleasure is wine. When you imbibe with others, there is no race to taste the tannins. Rather, consider it a time to savor and acknowledge each other or the moment.
Don’t spray champagne
After so many years in France, it now makes us giggle when we see bachelorettes or Real Housewives open a bottle of champagne and—the horror!—spray it all over themselves and others. The French would never. (Unless, that is, they are a skilled saberer or a descendant of Napoleon.) To open a bottle of champagne in France is to do so delicately, discreetly, and efficiently so as not to interrupt the purity of the product and make a mess. There should be a subtle hiss, not a pop. If you’re at a restaurant or bar, adding orange juice to make a Mimosa is a no-no, too. Champagne stands alone.
If you leave a tip, don’t overdo it
Tipping in France is not expected. The price of a meal at restaurants includes a service charge and staff are paid a fair hourly wage. A couple of €1 or €2 coins for exceptional service is totally fine and appreciated, but tipping in France really is optional. If you pay cash for something small, you can leave the change. Do not leave a big tip at a restaurant in France; this will label you as a tourist, and it bothers locals that (mostly) American tourists bring this aspect of U.S. culture with them to France.
Note that you won’t get the bill at restaurants in France until you’re ready for it. To get the bill, make eye contact with the server, and use a signing gesture or say, l’addition, s’il vous plaît (the bill, please).
Don’t wear gym clothes in public
People in France, particularly in Paris, dress well. This doesn’t mean wearing high heels and couture, but wear clothing that is neat and fits you well. Do not go out for the day in athleisure-wear; this is for the gym or sports classes solely. Leggings are only for actual athletic pursuits. The exception is if you’ve been doing something active—hiking in the Calanques National Park in Marseille, for example, or cycling in the Cévennes region of southern France—and you stop off for lunch somewhere casual.
When the weather is more temperate, wear jeans or trousers, a well-fitted tee, button-down, or blouse, and comfortable street sneakers. A blazer, red lipstick, and scarves for both men and women can elevate your outfit.
In cities such as Paris and Lyon, it’s somewhat uncommon to see men in shorts until the temperature climbs above 80 degrees Fahrenheit. But as France faces weeks of extreme heat, shorts have become essential. If you’re visiting France in summer, pack a few pairs of cotton or linen tailored shorts and button-down shirts or blouses, as well as sundresses (try to cover your shoulders or you’ll need to carry a scarf to visit churches). With such high temperatures, baseball caps are much more common, but a straw sun hat shields your face even more. These types of light, airy outfits are de rigueur in the South of France from May through September when every single day is hot and sunny.
Related: The 11 Most Charming Villages and Towns on the French Riviera
Get in line, but don’t let people cut you
Queuing is a courtesy in France, and you should always double-check to be sure you haven’t accidentally skipped ahead of someone—at the bakery, outside a public toilet, or au comptoir (at the bar). That said, the French are not afraid to be assertive, so do the same and make sure no one cuts in front of you.
Other French etiquette questions
Do you need to learn French phrases?
There are several French words or phrases that are really helpful when traveling in France. The most essential are bonjour (or bonsoir after 6 p.m. or so), merci, s’il vous plaît, and bonne journée (or bonne soirée in the evenings). Others such as parlez-vous anglais? (do you speak English), pardonnez-moi, je ne parle pas français (pardon me, I don’t speak French) are also very useful.
What is metro etiquette in Paris?
The metro in Paris has fold-down seats that bookend each row. When the train is crowded, stand up and let the seat fold back into place. The exception to this rule is someone elderly, injured, or holding a baby. If you’re on the metro and you don’t feel well, it’s OK to continue sitting down.
Is tipping really optional?
Tipping is not expected in France, with some exceptions. Our France tipping guide covers when and how much to give. Note that with an increase in businesses using U.S. payment processors like Square and Stripe, a tip screen with percentages may come up after you’ve paid your bill, but you are not obligated to leave a tip.
Is it rude to ask for substitutions or to-go boxes at restaurants?
Most restaurants in France will not do substitutions. At casual table-service places, removing one ingredient can be possible; if you see a crêpe you want to try, for example, but it has cheese and you’re lactose-intolerant, asking for no cheese will rarely pose a problem. When ordering coffee, cow milk is the default; at a coffee shop, the barista may ask if you want a different kind of milk. At a café, it’s perfectly fine to ask the server if they have oat or soy milk, but don’t be surprised if they don’t.
Asking for a to-go box is completely acceptable. Restaurant portions in France are not as big as they are in the USA, but no one will be bothered if you don’t finish your meal and want to take it home.
