A recent dinner proved to be a vexing, if not disappointing, experience for my group. Our hosts had previously enjoyed a “remarkable” dinner and were excited to show off their local gem. But the moment we walked in the door, we could hear a gaggle of young ladies speaking in very unladylike tones. Even after we were seated in the dining room we could still hear them. So, too, the romantic couple next to us, who appeared even more distressed.
Before long I realized the floor vent was exhaling an icy blast that required me to call on a nearby server. He went off to fetch a towel; upon his return he said: “This usually does the trick.” Usually? Note to the manager: Why not fix it?
Soon enough our own server appeared, a woman I’ll call “Lady Mary” because she seemed as arch as the “Downton” character. One of my friends asked for the G&T, but remade as a V&T because she doesn’t like gin. Lady Mary would have none of it, extolling the virtues of the house-made gin until…. well, for far, far too long. Then I asked if a mock cocktail list existed. Lady Mary brought me fruity non-alcoholic confection instead. I inquired again about a list, but she asked me to try the drink first. After I did, and had winced at the amount of sugar in it, she asked me what I preferred. I said in my best Dowager Countess voice: “I’d like to know if you have a list.” Three times? Note to the manager: Your staff is an embarrassment.
Oh, and how was our meal? Let me put it this way: Unremarkable.